I am having a bad day today. I can’t blame it on waking up on the wrong side of the bed, seeing as our “bed” is actually two twin size beds shoved next to one another to form a mechanical king-size bed. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed would actually be waking up in another bed entirely, but I digress. Maybe it’s because Deven refused to sleep alone again last night and I had to share my bed with a kid who cries because he can’t get comfortable. I had to wake up several times to dig him out from between the beds. When he finally woke me up with his incessant chatter over Ni Hao, Kai-Lan, I was exhausted.
Everything is getting to me. The house is a total mess, every square inch, every nook and cranny has some peice of crap shoved into it. I am screaming inside over the lack of a file cabinet and more importantly the lack of any organization. I thought we had moved into a more expensive place because we’d have more room for our shit, and the only thing we’ve managed to do since we came here is acquire more shit to fill the empty spaces with. Please, family, if you do truly love us, DON’T BUY US ANYMORE CRAP.
I also feel like the worst mom in the world today. It seems like Deven is going after everything that would get him into trouble just to drive me crazy. He’s been pulling my mouse and keyboard off my desk, pulling DVDs and books off of shelves, throwing his toys into the kitchen, turning the tv off and on, playing with the printer. I’ve been trying not to do so much grabbing and yelling lately, but today it’s just not happening. I just want to put down some food and water and run away for a few hours.
Today I also hate my husband because when he gets home from work he plays video games until he goes to bed. I understand that he works hard all day, but goddammit, IS HE BLIND? Look at this place! He’s not exactly offering any help with anything, aside from when I say “fuck you” and go upstairs to watch tv and he kindly watches the baby while playing Fallout 3. That I do appreciate. But I would appreciate it more if this weekend he put down the controller and helped me clean this particular circle of Hell.
Also, articles like this one are really getting to me. I know you’re thinking,”Janette, I thought you were pro-abortion rights, what problem could you possibly have with this information!” Well, first off, Foreign Aid of any kind is a joke. The money that we often believe is going to help acquire resources in needy nations is more often than not going to further corruption and abuse of power in these foreign governments. With this we’re not asking that the money go to feeding the poor foreigners, but to ensuring that they are able to have the contents of their uterus sucked out. HOW IS THAT OKAY? How is that our federal government’s problem? We shouldn’t even funding domestic abortions. Uuuuugggghhhhhhhhh I’m going to put a hole in a goddamn wall.
I’m having a hard time finding the bright side of anything today. Kind of ironic that I picked today to jump onto the Grace in the Small things challenge. It’s been a struggle but I have managed to find 5 things in this day to look upon with joy.
1. Fiber-injected strawberry yogurt
2. When Deven plops a car toy in my lap and then smiles as I crank the car up and it races away.
3. A sink empty of dirty dishes.
4. A refreshing shower
5. Getting my smiley, rosy-cheeked son out of his crib after his nap.
I’m going to try to do this everyday, and as you can tell, I’ve been pretty good about finding something to blog about every day. Even today, when all I wanted to do was set my house on fire, I managed to find 5 happy things and blog about them.