I just watched “Twilight”. You know, the movie based on the popular teen vampire book series and stars some guy with a big chin and smoldering eyes and a girl who always looks concerned (not Tobey Maguire.)
I had always heard nothing but horrible things about the book series and the movie alike, which is precisely why I never bothered joining the masses of heaving teen girls in the theater. I heard the warnings, and I did pay attention, but fuck, curiosity always gets the best of me.
I was hoping very much for a bad movie in the same way “The Lost Boys” or “Monster In Law” were bad movies, you know, fun and still somewhat entertaining. Man…man, was I disappointed. And a little hurt.
Twilight was not fun by any means. Twilight was unfortunately bad in the way you would expect a bad movie to be, only worse. I can use three adjectives that sum up this entire movie experience: awkward, amateur, and bleak.
Awkward and amateur in that everything about the movie from head to toe, from the story to the film editing was as though it were made by a class of 12 year olds. I expected that from the story, but not so much from how the movie was made. That was just…fucking devastating. DEVASTATING. And bleak because…through out most of the movie my hand was cradling my brow as I shook my head in embarrassment. Embarrassment for the creators of this mess and in my own shame for having paid $5.99 for this theatrical bowel movement. Who allowed this to happen? Is this the future of film making?
I know this was short and rather vague, but…fuck. I don’t have the energy at the moment to do much more than swear. And weep.
This last week has been quite weird. I don’t want to get too much into detail, but…let’s just say we’re lucky that not much has changed.
We put Deven, and as a result, myself on a new schedule. Deven now lays his little head down at 8 pm so that Vance and I can have some valuable alone time. He gets up at about 8:30 and takes about an hour nap. I am so not used to any of this yet. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I got the night before or what time I went to bed, 8 am is still entirely too early for me to get up. I am exhausted most of the day. Deven has also been sleeping in his own bed, because we can’t have sex in our bed with a baby sleeping between us.
Just as we got his schedule worked out and we got him to sleep in his own bed, my dad and step mom decided they wanted to take him for the rest of the week. They are both teachers and have this week off for spring break. It’s surprisingly not that bad of an idea because they are on the same sleep schedule that we put him on. In fact, when they kept him before for a few days, this was the schedule they had put him on. I just have a hard time fathoming Wednesday through Sunday without my son. Is that even possible? What will I do with myself?
My friend is having his birthday camping trip this weekend and he has invited Vance and I to join their drunken sausage fest. Originally Vance suggested that I go alone, but I wasn’t entirely sure that was a kosher idea. There was a very high likely hood that I could be the only female in attendance around a bunch of drunk guys, and in that situation, I’m not all about playing Smurfette. Aren’t we lucky my folks decided to take Deven for the weekend? Now I’m actually looking forward to going.
I’m about to head out to go shopping for a back pack. Because why not?
A shout out to the boys, the boys of my husband’s workplace. They are enthusiastic Snuggie Blanket fans. Notice that my husband, Vance is not pictured in either post. Thats because I was nice enough to not beg my husband for what can only be described as the single most retarded invention ever. I’m a nice wife.
To Josh: don’t drop the soap.