On this day

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Last night I was rather skeptical about the chances of seeing snow here in Texas. It’s one of those things that starts as a rumor among meteorologists, and even as the likelihood increases, it’s never a definite thing that every news source will agree on. Even though it has happened at least once every year for the last 3 years, it still feels like a fucking miracle in the land of 110 degree summers.

So, anyway, that snow I didn’t believe was going to show? Well…
Snowpocalypse 2011
Winter wonderland 2011
Frozen vegetables

It happened. Early, early in the morning, long after everyone (with jobs and kids) had gone to bed. It dropped more than an inch on the ground, possibly 2. I had another horrible night’s sleep, and I got up at about 3 and looked out the window and saw nothing more than a light dusting on the rooftops. And then at about 5 am, I got the best phone call an exhausted pregnant parent could possibly get: all Round Rock ISD schools are CLOSED today due to “inclement weather.” I shouted with glee, probably woke my 2 bedmates up. Vance got up at his usual time only to be told to just stay home by his boss. So, we’ve been sitting around, watching movies, joyfully eating tacos.

What does this mean for me and my job? Not much, seeing as the sun came out at around 10 and has pretty much melted the snow. That’s how it is in Texas: snow happens in a glorious flash, and then it is over. You have to stop everything in order to be able to experience any of it.

By 5, when I have to be at work, most of the moisture will probably dry up, which means there won’t be much danger of the roads freezing over after dark. That’s not a terrible thing, even if it means I will have to work a full shift tonight.

When I was a kid, we were so LUCKY if it ever saw snow. It just never happened. Now, it’s happened consistently 3 years in a row. Texas is a weird place.

Ten P.M.

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I sometimes get into bed and damn near totally forget to blog. This MUST be done earlier, content or no content.

We’re all exhausted here. We decided to just bathe ourselves, and all climb into bed before 10. Vance and I both woke up this morning sick with some kind of grossness. A virus, maybe? We were both nauseous and had some, uh, gastrointestinal upset. Deven had a couple of really disgusting diapers yesterday, though he didn’t seem sick at all.  Oh well.  For the most part, it went away by the afternoon. I’m still feeling a little gross from it though.

There was supposed to be snow today here in central TX. The schools have decided to delay their schedules by 2 whole hours due to the threat of this snow and the rolling blackouts in the area. So, the snow? Yeah, never really showed up. I had a feeling it wouldn’t. It did stay cold as shit, though. Yeah, it drops below 20 F and there is nothing to show for it. Thanks, Texas.

I…really don’t have a lot to say. I’m tired, Deven doesn’t have to be at school until 9:45 am. I want to sleep. I promise to have something more interesting to say tomorrow.

Words and bullets

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Today started out horribly before it even actually started. I didn’t sleep last night due to pain in my hips and severe emotional upset. I couldn’t focus on anything, I couldn’t shut my brain off, and naturally, TYLENOL JUST WASN’T CUTTING IT.

I was pretty profoundly depressed. When there is something I feel really conflicted over, or just upset over, it tends to nag and gnaw at me until I can talk to someone about it. So it really sucks to come to horrible revelations at 2 in the morning. Things happen, like drunk dialing, or in my case: INSANE PREGNANT LADY FACEBOOKING!

There was a misunderstanding of something that I thought Vance and I had resolved, but there was still a lot there. He apologized for what he did (the stupid Facebook thing), but I just never fully understood what caused him to do it in the first place. Until I was able to discuss it with him, I thought the absolute worst. My therapist and I entertained all of the possibilities, and I was fully prepared for a fight when I got home tonight. I was totally surprised when I got home only to find a slightly peeved Vance who was more annoyed that I yelled at him this morning about Deven not wanting to brush his teeth. I mean, yeah, he didn’t like getting bitched-out through email either, but that didn’t seem to make him as angry.

So, I decided since there wasn’t going to be a huge fight, that we needed to talk it out. No animosity, so name-calling, just two adults working out an apparent misunderstanding. And I came out realizing I had no idea what was really going on, and that people make mistakes in the name of being fed up with having to justify other people’s behavior.

I found out there really is someone here who accepts me for who I am, and still loves me even when I am a raging crazy bitch. He just didn’t want to have play mediator between me and anyone else, and why the hell would anyone want to?

I feel like an asshole after sending that email at 2 in the morning. You know what makes him amazing? The fact that he let it roll off his shoulders. I would have a hard time with that. But he’s apparently awesome.

My therapist entertained the possibility that perhaps since I am getting so close to giving birth, maybe I am freaking out that he’s not going to pull through for me during that precarious time. He and I not only survived the first birth, we thrived, so I know he is capable of being there. Maybe it’s just general anxiety about having another baby, because I have no doubt in my mind he’ll be here for all of it, that is if I don’t run him off with my crazy behavior.