I’m just going to get my nightly child rant out of the way: GOD, you guys, being a parent is just shitty sometimes. When you have a strong-willed kid like Deven, who has inherited both his mom’s unwavering stubbornness and determination, and his dad’s fiery temper, you try SO HARD not to give in to his tantrums and persistent demands. But as he is kicking and throwing his entire body weight against the door, you realize he is also CRYING HYSTERICALLY at the same time, and you start to feel like an asshole for ignoring his tears, and you start to worry that he’s going to a) hurt himself from repeatedly body-slamming a large inanimate object, and b) that he is going to be emotionally scarred from being ignored by his parents. And then you remember the crib-sleep training when he was 6 months old. This heartless beast left her baby in his crib to cry and scream for several hours before he finally fell asleep just so that she could no longer risk rolling onto her child and suffocating him to death, also so she could regain her sanity by getting longer stretches of sleep in. Yeah, so, as a result, the kid came out an independent self-soother who sleeps alone through the entire night with no issues, YOU HAVE STILL DONE IRREPARABLE DAMAGE TO YOUR CHILD’S FRAGILE PSYCHE. HE WILL NEVER FEEL SAFE OR LOVED!
And the absolute worst part is when he responds to one parent over the other. Vance is able to look at him, tell him how it’s going to be with very few words, and then the screaming is over. Way to make me feel like a fuckin failure. And I’m supposed to have another?
I didn’t even want to post about my kid tonight. I had a whole other subject in mind, a fun subject, about makeup and hair and shit, but this day has just sucked the life and fun right out of me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.