I can’t take much more of this…the pressure…in my head…it’s too much. God damn you spring, and the trees and grass for choosing NOW of all times to procreate. NOTHING is working to make the pain stop…I wish I could sneeze and snot everywhere, instead of having my sinus cavities all simultaneously inflame. Something, or someone, somewhere…make it stop. MAKE IT STOP.
Sunday sunday sunday…the tenth
Well, the weekend is over and I’M STILL PREGNANT, YOU GUYS! WTH? Vance says the middle of the week works better for him anyway, I still say that it sucks because that means I’ll be pregnant that much longer.
Today was blah. I didn’t even try to do anything. My allergies have been insanely bad, so I have mostly been laying around and moaning on the couch and bed. I’ve tried popping various pills, mostly Tylenol and Sudafed, and even *GASP* Advil, which is a big NO-NO in most obstetrical circles, but my head has been so achy and full that I will try literally ANYTHING to alleviate the discomfort. Nothing really works. The combo of Sudafed and Advil works better than Sudafed and Tylenol. I haven’t taken any actual allergy pills, because the non-drowsy ones almost NEVER work, and the drowsy ones make me anxious and jittery and spacey, and then won’t work. I know most of this is pregnancy inflammation, so I really shouldn’t get too discouraged by the lack of effective treatments. The biggest relief will come when the baby finally emerges from my womb, whenever the hell he decides that will be.
The last week of this pregnancy has been the hardest. All of the discomforts I have managed to avoid the last nine months have come falling down on my head with such force. Like, since I was told I could go at ANY TIME two weeks ago, the anticipation has made me sick or something. It’s added the worst insult to injury: my body and the baby are saying, “not only are you going to STAY THIS WAY, but we’ll make sure you’re the most uncomfortable you’ve been in the last nine months.”
Baby making is not supposed to be easy, and I know it could be soooo much worse. I’m just dying of anticipation here. I want to be done. I want to meet my son. I want to breastfeed and be able to wear normal clothes again.
Weird, I want to breastfeed. I am losing my mind, aren’t I?
The best and worst part of this: I am in the final stretch of the final stretch. There will be a new baby here this week. He will be born at some point before Sunday the 17th, really by the 16th. The worst part is just worrying about exactly when this will take place and how, and just general anxiety about labor. I’ve been there, I have memories, I remember the parts that were not fun, and I’m totally not looking forward to doing it again. It’s still amazing and exciting to think that this really is the end, and there will be a new living, breathing human being in our arms very, very soon.
So, if I make it to my last Doctor’s appointment on Tuesday at 9 am (let us be real, here: I will) I plan on telling the Doctor that if he is not here by Friday the 15th, she has full permission to do whatever it takes to get this baby out of me. She is probably thinking Pitocin, I am thinking smoke bomb.
Saturday the Ninth
I have been feeling all sorts of awful all day today and I don’t know why. I almost feel kind of flu-ish. I’ve been fighting horrible fatigue, body aches, a headache, and a horribly stuffy nose. I’m pretty sure it’s all a combination of allergies and being nine months pregnant and completely done.
None of it stopped me from trying to clean my house. You could call it nesting, but I preferred to look at it as the result of boredom. I got up and found nothing on Netflix, and didn’t feel like going outside, so I was all, “scrubbing the crap from around the toilets sounds like a suitable weekend activity.” I tried to get so much done, but my body kept saying “nooooooooo more.” I would get achy and short of breathe and need to lay down frequently. Finally, my body won the battle, and I just had to take a 2 or 3 hour nap just to stay alive, it felt like. I still feel like I got a lot done. The bathrooms are clean, the boys’ room is clean, and our bedroom is now ready. All I really have left to do are a few loads of sheets and blankets. I can knock that out tomorrow, I think.
I cleaned the living room, though I kept thinking there was very little point. Since all of Deven’s toys are down here, that means that the living room will stay clean for a maximum ten minutes during our child’s waking hours. It hardly feels worth having to bend down, or sit on the floor and risk possibly getting stuck there. And then the dog and people with shoes drag dirt and god knows what else from outside onto the carpet. It’s impossible for us to have a clean carpet. It’s hardly possible for us to have clean anything, especially with this lady in charge of the upkeep.
I’m going to go crawl into bed and watch Cars with Deven. He didn’t get a nap today (and just threw a fit over his magic drawing board…thing) and I am still completely exhausted. I think I’ll be falling asleep earlier than usual tonight.