Today was quite a day. We were surrounded by family, food, and lots and lots of boiled eggs. My family brought a huge feast, which included ham, green beans, and cupcakes, and we hid eggs around our yard for Deven to find. I hope he had fun. Today was all about him.
At the end of the day, after running around and being pumped full of sugar, Deven had had it. After being a butthead and getting into epic amounts of trouble, he passed out on the couch. It was precious. And quiet.
I hope the rest of you had a happy Zombie Jesus day/ Easter.
I miss Deven in the worst way you can miss another person. I see him every day, and interact with him, but things are hardly okay. I didn’t think you could have relationship problems with a three-year-old who is also your child, but you can. He is jealous because I constantly have the baby attached to me, and when I don’t, I am too exhausted to leave the couch or the bed or whatever surface I am sitting on. The vast majority of our interactions involve me telling him ‘no’ because he wants something he can’t have, or wants to go somewhere he can’t go, or me getting angry with him for messing with his brother’s swing, or generally acting out. He plays with his grandmother, who I am again grateful for having here with us, but doesn’t play with me, because as I said, too tired and attached to baby.
Of course I want things back to normal, but they never will be again. We have to establish a new routine, and new way of going about everything now that we have the new baby. Right now Vance and I are sleepwalking through life right now, and I feel like it’s costing us. In a way, I want my mother-in-law to leave tomorrow and let us take the reins, no, let ME take the reins during the day while Vance is at work, but at the same time, I know I would have no idea what I was doing and would likely crash and burn within the first three hours. It’s too soon, but I want my son back as much as he wants us back.
And on top of that, I’ve got whatever Deven has. We took him to the after-hours clinic today and he’s been diagnosed with a virus that has caused Laryngitis. All I have is an annoying scratchy throat, but he has a nasty cough and was running a fever. Now there is no way his brother isn’t going to get it. Everything sucks terribly.
Good Friday indeed. A lot was accomplished today, though none of it by me, unless you count feeding and tending to a newborn baby something. I literally stayed in my pajamas until, like, 7 pm, when I just DESPERATELY needed a shower. That late in the day, what is the point of even getting dressed?
Vance and his mom took care of the grocery shopping and bought other various things for our yard, which meant that after they came home, they spent HOURS AND HOURS outside setting all of the stuff up. Aside from a new kiddie pool, I am not even sure what all they bought that required them to spend that much time outside. As you can guess, I’m not an outside person, and with the new baby constantly attached to me, I am not entirely comfortable with spending hours outside. So I sat moping on the couch, waiting for someone to come in maybe entertain me, or indulge me, or something. But they mostly just stayed outside.
Deven seems to be progressing through this chest cold thing. He started out the day with a fever, which was taken care of with a dose of Tylenol and a series of elaborate bribes. He started to sound like he was losing his little voice, but by the end of the day not only was his voice mostly back, but the fever broke and has yet to return. I want to believe he’s getting better, and this will be mostly over by Monday, but we’ll see.
So that’s it. A very uneventful day, at least from my end. I am not sure I will be able to provide anything more interesting tomorrow, but I’ll try.