Things I don’t understand

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This article discusses the controversy (to call it that kind of trivializes the whole thing) behind the Chris Brown incident and questions whether Rihanna is playing a part in further corrupting the already dangerously fragile minds of the modern young female. Let me just clarify: I’m not a feminist by any means, I am a staunch individualist. I don’t believe anyone should ever have to  live their lives and make decisions based on anyone else’s standards surrounding their race or gender. I do, however, believe in someone paying for their mistakes (again, trivializing), and obviously, aside from a little bit of community service, Chris Brown hasn’t even had to so much as really apologize for beating the ever-loving shit out of his very famous girlfriend. Seeing as he is a public figure, and therefore, supposedly held to a higher standard, the guy should have been shut-out for at least a decade, if not for good. Instead, like with Michael Vick and Ben Roethlisberger, all was forgiven, and he could go back to being a millionaire. What happened to responsibility?

I’m not even into the whole “role-model” business, but as that article pointed out, there are young women out there saying this douchebag “could beat me up anytime.” They can’t possibly understand what they are saying. It is not helping that Rihanna is recording and performing with her assailant, which sends out the message that it’s okay everyone! “I’m not only going to talk to the guy that mangled my face, but I’m going to help him make more money!” I don’t understand it. Chris Brown fans, if you can even read all of these words, can you help me understand how this is okay? Explain it to me? And please use actual words and not “u”or “b” and “dis” if you can.

All I am getting out of this is that your actions don’t matter as long as you are entertaining. We’re putting money and fun ahead of morality. And it’s worse that it involves 2 public figures on either side. What’s next? It’s okay that you killed that kid because you make beats that make me wanna move. It was already okay that those two scumbag football players raped that woman and abused those dogs because it’s fucking football, and in America nothing takes precedence over football. Except crappy music. And the examples don’t even end there.

I don’t like to sit here and make the claim that people are stupid, because I honestly don’t believe that. Human beings are prone to missteps and misinterpretations, and to err is extremely human. And to claim that other people are stupid is to suggest that you believe yourself to be smarter than everyone else, and I don’t believe that about myself. Observing the things happening in the world and our access to information against incidents like these makes me believe the world is  entering a new era of ignorance. People are becoming brazen about the choice to not acknowledge or flat out ignore certain unpleasant facts. It doesn’t matter as long as we’re having fun. What’s happening to the world?

I’m not even sure I want to understand any of this.

Swamped

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This is life right now. I am swamped, I don’t have much time for blogging. I know. You’re so sad about that.

School started for me on February 19th, Intro to Philosophy, 12 week course, which seems like it should be so easy seeing as I have taken summer courses before.  An assignment or test or both is due every week, along with tons of reading, hardly any of I understand. I had a paper due yesterday on Plato and Aristotle’s metaphysics, which I was severely panicking about right up until it was turned in. I understood Plato just fine, in that he was kind of crazy and believed we all live in a not-reality and we could only learn about things in between lives, in that he believed in reincarnation. Simply enough, I guess. I had the hardest time with Aristotle. I enlisted the help of my older brother, who studied this topic quite extensively in college, and he even had a hard time with it. In short, the paper didn’t even get started until it was due, and I am not even sure it is up to par, but whatever. It’s done.

I have a short little break between required study time, and I am going a little stir-crazy. What I should be doing is getting ready for my US History I class, which is going to be half of the length of a regular fall course. You know in boxing movies when the opponent in the corner is, like, 3x your size, angry, and ready to kick your ass? Thats this upcoming class. I should be studying, but I am about to head out to Target for…I don’t know. To get out of the house.

I guess I underestimated how hard this would be with 2 kids. I had 2 kids last semester too, but I don’t know, 2 shorter classes, 2 demanding kids, and no place to get away from everything to study is making it significantly more difficult. But I’m going to do it. I’m going to be fine.

Speaking of my kids, Archer is two months away from turning 1. I know, can you believe it? He’s adorable. He’s still not walking, but he is cruising and getting braver about letting go of things. Normally, he falls after two seconds. He’ll be walking soon, but right now I am just enjoying the last leg of babyhood. I’m enjoying it EVEN MORE now that he is sleeping in his crib.

!!!

Yes, we were finally able to sleep train our little clingy monkey. We used the “Sleep Lady Shuffle,” or our own variation of it, which is like the Ferber method, but with us in the room. Basically, we put him in his crib, turned off the lights, and sat on the bed with our backs turned to him. It sounds horrible, but had to listen to a lot less crying than with the Ferber method. He’s had a couple of nights where it seemed like he had totally forgotten the protocol, but for the most part he is unhappy for less than 5 minutes before just giving up and going to sleep. And now I am asleep long enough to actually have weird dreams. It’s wonderful.

And Deven is still Deven. He’s four, which means he has attitude now, and even calls us by our first names. He talks about farts a lot. He’s cute.

So this is my life at the moment. Who KNOWS when I will be able to blog again.

 

Valentine’s day

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For some reason, today I am compelled to recall to you the worst Valentine’s Day I have ever experienced:

It was 2005, I was 19, and I had been with my boyfriend for over a year. We were living together in my brother’s house in blissful codependency, so in love, so hating life. That year I decided that since I had a decent job, I was going to make that Valentine’s day special for my “special man.” I went out and bought expensive red-and-pink lingerie, complete with red stockings and clear stripper shoes. I wanted to surprise him. That night at work, my close friend surprised me with a dozen roses,  cocoa-coated espresso beans, a nice Pinot Grigio, and a swedish jazz cd, and asked for nothing in return. When I got home, my boyfriend surprised me with… nothing. He said he didn’t want to spend any of his money on Valentine’s day. I had to pitch a fit for him to go to Walgreens and bring me a little stuffed puppy dog. I didn’t have a problem with him not getting me a gift, it was more that he put 0 effort into that day that I was so determined to make so special. He had absolutely no problem drinking all of the wine or eating all of the chocolate coffee beans my friend bought for me. I broke up with him a few weeks later. I can’t believe I waited that long.

The next year, I spent Valentine’s day with Vance. I drove all the way to Houston to be with him, and I wasn’t disappointed. I have yet to be disappointed. Every year our Valentine’s day has gotten better and better. It’s not about the gifts; it’s about that one day a year you stop to really look at that one person you spend every day with and tell them how much they mean to you. Skeptics love to say that Valentine’s day means nothing because you spend every day telling that person you love them, but that’s bullshit. Every day cannot be that perfect. If you live with someone, especially if your relationship is turbulent as mine and Vance’s has been known to be, you probably don’t even stop to have a real conversation with that person, let alone sit there and bathe them with praise and affection. Valentine’s day is a chance for this old married couple to attempt our own brand of romance and look over our relationship and rediscover exactly what began it all for us. It’s about stopping and devoting an entire day to the person you love. Expecting that every day, especially when you have two kids, is completely unrealistic.

I don’t get how he does it. Every year he finds the perfect card, or perfect gift, and he plainfaces through out the entire day so that I don’t even see it coming. And the best part is that I know it’s coming out of a place of sincerity. He loves me. I love him. Somehow he does a better job of showing it than I ever could. He’s wonderful. I’m so very, very lucky.

I guess I’m compelled to recall that story because since being with Vance, I haven’t even so much as had a bad Valentine’s day. That will always be the single worst experience for me, but every single year I have a brand new awesome Valentine’s Day story to share. You have to admit, thats pretty awesome.