Category Archives: events

Voltaire was a funny guy

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“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.” — Voltaire

I’ve decided to finally end my hiatus and come back with the wit of a french philosopher. Actually, I have no intention of at all elaborating on that quote, I just thought it was funny and wanted to share it.

It’s been so long since I have posted I have forgotten what the last topic I posted on. Oh well, looks like I will start from scratch.

School. The fall semester has been going well so far.  I’m taking intermediate algebra and conceptual physics I and by golly, do things feel backwards. I’m only going to school three days a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, which you would think leaves me plenty of time to get homework and home situated, but nothing could be further from the truth. By Thursday I am usually freaking out over the incompleteness and difficulty of my physics homework. That’s the other thing, Math is easier of the two classes, since when does that happen? The non-math class usually has me in tears this time. I have found that if I read ahead and prepare for the upcoming class by Friday, then I usually don’t feel quite as lost during the lecture on Saturday. I’m usually at least able to go “Yes, acceleration, I remember that word!” and then I let the other people in my lab group take over. Trust me, it’s better that way.

It’s unbelievable how much easier the math class is this semester. For one thing, there was a 2 week break between the summer and fall semester, so the stuff from the first math course hadn’t had time to leak out of my brain. Second, it’s all merely an extension of everything from the last class. What I mean is, that we’re taking concepts from the last class, refreshing ourselves on them, and then adding new things to them. Right now we’re focusing on graphing, which used to have me pulling my hair out, but now, I’m all “please, you’re boring me, you’ve GOT to have something better than this.” Believe me, I know it only gets harder. But only focusing on one chapter section per class as opposed to trying to cram a whole chapter into a single class, like during the summer semester, makes it easier. I got this shit.

I’m actually really enjoying being a college student. I am learning things. I am being challenged, I’m using parts of my brain that I’m sure atrophied during my years of locking myself in my room and playing the Sims. I have found parts of myself I wish I had known about years ago, I mean, where would I be now if I realized long ago I actually acquiring knowledge? Yep, a pizza delivery driver/career student. You would be shocked by learning how many of those people I have known in my time.

Deven, Deven, Deven. He turned 2 on the 16th. We celebrated with cupcakes and family in the rain on the 12th. His party was awesome, but I was so busy making sure everyone had a place to sit that I never got around to taking pictures of my own. My mother-in-law took pictures for sure, and when I find them, I will upload them. Anyway, he is definitely a defiant and terrible 2 year old. He throws fits, he hits, he screams, he kicks, he throws food, he runs away, he deliberately does things to make me mad and see what I will do. When I take him out and public and let him run around without me holding his hand, the second I go to take his hand to stop him, he lays down. Every time. It’s his defense, he just lays right down. He lays down, and I pick him up, and we go on our way. It’s cute the way that he knows how well it works without him getting into trouble. It drives me crazy because somedays I just really need him to go where I say to go without me having to carry his heavy butt around.

He is in the terrible two’s phase, but he is still cute as hell. He gives kisses and cuddles and love without any argument, he dances and kinda sings, and creates opportunities to say “uh-oh!” (mostly by throwing a sippy cup on the ground or by knocking it out of my hand.) He is a wonderful kid. He’s my wonderful kid.

Slowly but surely barriers are being lifted. We removed the gate to the entrance way leaving the temptation of the stairs to Deven since he can come down the stairs by himself. He is not allowed to go up the stairs alone and when he does, he is taken to time out where he must sit for 2 minutes. A lot of parents may say that leaving the stairs “open” like that is dangerous and irresponsible, but I never leave him alone. If I need to go upstairs to pee, he comes with me. I have grown eyes on the back of my head and I know where he is at all times. I’m learning that by locking your kid in a cage, like the one we had made out of our living room, does nothing to teach kids consequences, it just makes it convenient and easy for us to keep him out of trouble. This way, he learns his barriers and that actions have consequences. My goal for the next year is to get rid of all of the gates in our house. (Except for the gate thats going at the top of stairs. We’re moving it there when he starts sleeping in a bed.)

Anyway, I am tired. I’m fighting a cold and I just need to lay down. God, I hope this cold season isn’t the ass kicker last year’s was. I’m going to dig around  the blog archives and see if I can find posts that illustrate the god-awfulness of Sept08- Feb09.

Good night.

Birthday

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Today is my 24th birthday. Yay.

I’m always excited about birthdays. I believe birthdays should be the most important day to any individual, held to higher esteem than even Christmas. Yeah, Christmas. Even if you’re one of those kids who gets tons of presents under the tree. Your birthday is all about you and the fact that you get to be alive and get to celebrate being here another year. It’s not something to take for granted, even though it is easy to.  And even if you’re one of those types who is constantly sacrificing for others, there should be one day where you get to tell everyone else to fuck off, or buy you a cake.

I had everything planned for today. I was going to spend the day at the mall and spend my birthday money on some new nice clothes and eat lunch in the food court, and then tonight I was going to be joined by my friends and brother at the restaurant of my choosing. It was supposed to be awesome.

But alas, something had to give.

I did get to spend a good 3 hours at the mall with a fussy toddler who, surprise, was not all about shopping with the birthday girl. I did find some excellent deals, like finding 2 really nice pairs of trousers at Old Navy on clearance for $2 each.  TWO DOLLARS EACH. That is less than you pay at Goodwill. And they were new. Yes, the mall must’ve known it was my day, because even the Israeli soap hagglers didn’t try to stop me once, and I passed them like a dozen times.

I digress. It all came crumbling down when I got horribly sick in the middle of the mall. It was my usual sick, which I would rather not describe in detail. All I will tell you is I get horrible stomach cramps, cramps that wreck my whole body, causing me to become weak and see spots, cause my heart to palpitate, and make me want to die. And then ends with me dashing to the family-friendly bathroom with the lock on the door. It was so embarrassing. If it just ended with the flush of a toilet, then I wouldn’t be complaining, but today’s attack was especially bad, and even now after I have taken medicine, I am still feeling the effects of it. I am weak, achy, and still midly cramping, and Vance went and picked up a delicious dinner from Chili’s for me that I am not sure I will be able to eat.

I came home and crashed on the bed and napped until about 20 minutes before I was supposed to meet my friends for dinner. I had to call and cancel at the last minute, and I felt fucking terrible for it. My friends had already left their house when I called them. I felt like an asshole for not letting them know 20 minutes sooner. But it was apparently okay because I was a sick asshole.

There are bright points in my day. Vance’s birthday present to me was a new cell phone that was supposed to arrive tomorrow and ended up arriving today. He can afford it because he added a line to a family talk plan. He is so great at picking out presents. And he is sweet and wonderful. For all the time he drives me insane lately there are 10 other moments where he makes me realize how amazing and special he is and how lucky I am to have found him. I guess this is marriage. It has moments that make you want to wretch and moments when you know can’t live without this person.

I got a lot of great cards and wishes and generous gifts from the people around us. I realize I am insanely lucky to have these people around who care enough to join in my excitement for my own selfish holiday. They are also the same people who have helped our family stay afloat and thrive. So thank you for all the gifts and love.

A sight to wake up to

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Apparently last night while I was sleeping there was a storm, or a large gust, or a swarm of beavers, something that we missed the memo on during our slumber. This is what we woke up to:

This is the view when you first open the front door.

Thank God it missed our van.

So I have no idea if someone is working on fixing this, or has at least put this on their agenda. For all I know Vance was walking out the door for the day and he walked into this mess and decided to take pictures of it and then leave for work. That is entirely possible.

Now for what this post would have been about:

Heather Armstrong of Dooce.com came through Austin last night to sign copies of her new book, and being the internet literary fangirl that I am, I couldn’t miss it.

I had never ever been to a book signing before in my life, so I had no idea what to expect. There were a ton of women there, many with their babies, some with their boyfriends and husbands (poor guys). Heather Armstrong spoke first, told a couple of great stories, and was hilarious the entire time. She graciously answered questions and then we all got into a huge line that snaked around half of the upstairs area of Book People.

She was super friendly and gracious, had no problem chatting with the members of the large group of total strangers. As you know, that is not my strong suit so when it was my turn I looked and felt like a HUGE dork. But at least it was a good experience and I got my book signed. She even personalized it.

By the way, you should totally read her book. It’s hilarious. And much of it is totally true. So ladies,  don’t force it on your husband if you ever want him to impregnate you.