NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Brand Set For Drop Dead Fred Remake

29 April 2009 5:10 AM, PDT

British funnyman Russell Brand has signed up to star in a remake of cult comedy Drop Dead Fred – as an imaginary friend.

Brand will star in a new adaptation of the 1991 film, which originally featured Brit comedian Rik Mayall and actress Phoebe Cates.

The film tells the tale of a woman who returns to her parents’ home after she is fired from her job and dumped by her husband, only to be reacquainted with her anarchic childhood imaginary pal.

And it’s not the only remake the star has in the pipeline – he has also landed a role in the upcoming re-interpretation of Dudley Moore‘s 1981 hit Arthur.

Confirming the news on his Twitter.com page, Brand says, “Drop Dead Fred – true. Arthur – true, Kinky Bible – a film I will never make.”

The original Drop Dead Fred failed to set the box office alight, only taking $13.9 million (£9.4 million) in America, but went on to become a cult hit. Arthur fared much better first time round – garnering $82 million (£58.5 million) in the U.S.

Please tell me this is a joke. And then shoot the guy who thought this would be funny.

I hate days like these

Rainy days are the bain of my existence.

The weather has a huge effect on my mood. If the weather is clear and sunny I have no problems getting things done with optimism and clarity. On those days I don’t mind it so much if I don’t leave my house, I don’t even think about the next day being the exact same. On gloomy days I am anxious and irritable and completely drained of energy, and I normally fail to find a point in getting off the couch. I have no patience when it comes to handling my son. The minutes feel like hours, and I am painfully aware that tomorrow is likely going to be the exact same as today.

Yesterday I didn’t feel as bad as today, and it was raining way harder. I guess that because I had a Doctor’s appointment, I felt like the day had a purpose. The appointment took up all of 45 minutes of that day, but every moment of the day up to it had been planned in preparation for leaving the house. I am to the point in my life that I am looking forward to Dr’s appointments and grocery shopping because it breaks up the week and makes it a little more exciting, even though there is nothing exciting about these everyday things.

The worst part is yesterday I had faith that today would better. Without any basis in fact, no weather report, nothing, I believed that the sun would come out today and I would be able to take Deven to the park, or go for a walk around the neighborhood, or just find some reason to want to do this another day. Looking outside the window this morning was just terribly disappointing, to say the least.

I think Deven feels this too. He is going after every little thing that he gets in trouble for just to see me get up and interact with him, even if all I am doing is getting up and yelling at him. I feel like the worst mother in the world because I resent him so much lately, and none of this is his fault. Sometimes I just want him to play by himself and behave, just so I can have a little time to myself where I can imagine not being here. I know he needs me, I know he is bored too and could probably use someone other than me from time to time, and be in some new setting to run around in and explore. I don’t know what to do. He’s being cheated out of having fun and he’s being cheated out of…well, me.

It’s not just today. I get this way from time to time because I feel like my entire life is being spent waiting around for things. I’m waiting for the weekend to come around because I’ve been invited to a wedding shower, I’m waiting for next Monday to come around because Deven has his ECI evaluation, and then his hearing test the following day, and then after that I’ll be waiting around for school to start. Nothing seems to fill in the days in between.

Just be patient, Janette. In June you’re gonna start school, and then in three years you’re going to have a job and wish you could be bored again.

What the hell do I do in the meantime?

I want more money so I can go shopping if I feel like it, that always makes me feel better.

I want to be able to hang out with any of my friends at any time without feeling guilty over it so I can have some human fucking contact and real adult conversation.

I want freedom. I want the freedom to say what I feel and have someone understand it. I don’t want to feel selfish or stupid for getting my feelings off my chest.

Someone, tell me what to do. Give me an idea. Anything.

If anyone tells me to get a job or clean the house I am going to just go ahead and leave. But don’t worry, I’ll do the dishes first.

Posted in: me |

da DUM da DUM da DUM

I have two exciting announcements to make:

1. My dad sold the Buick for us. That means at least $1000 coming our way. At least.

2. We found a day care for Deven.

I never really elaborated much on the second point. A couple of weeks ago I found out that in order to keep my financial aid I need to register for at least 6 credit hours. That sounds fine, like about half time right? Sounds manageable. Except that I have everything set up to take just 2 classes, which was going to be one credit class and my remedial math class, and then maybe one other credit class through distance learning. But that was only if I thought I could handle it without getting overwhelmed. But that plan was thrown out, and I found out the only way I can swing 6 credit hours is if I went to school during the day.

Of course we can’t exactly afford a full time regular day care, so I had to look around for churches and in-home daycares. I want to smack every person who has ever recommended a church daycare because they are either free or way cheaper. That may very well have been the case 20 years ago when you needed to put your kid in daycare, but since then churches have caught on and now they are just as expensive and in-demand as regular daycares. All of them had waiting lists and they were all asking at least $500 a month. So I had to look into in-home daycares. I finally found a really nice lady who runs her daycare out of her home and comes highly recommended. She won’t have any openings for a while, but her assistant has plenty of openings. So that’s where Deven will go. She runs around $110 a week for part time, which is more than we can really afford, but with financial aid and help from family, we’re going to try to swing it.

On the Deven front, yesterday we were visited by a nice lady from the Texas ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) program. No, Deven does not have a substance abuse or gambling problem. What he does have is delayed speech. As you know, as I have mention several times in the past 7 months, Deven does not talk. At all. He also doesn’t point, so his Doctor referred us to these people to have him evaluated to see if he needs further therapy or assistance. Someone came over to talk to me about his diet, perform basic sight and hearing screenings, and do a little observation of his interaction with me and other objects. She said he had good eye contact and social reference, but he may need to have his hearing checked based on his lack of speech and the number of times he was sick last year. She also noted that when he babbles, he should be mimicking the inflections of a sentence. Instead it just comes out drawn out and monotonous, with maybe a scream thrown in there. Nothing that resembles a statement. We set up a second appointment for May 4th for an actual evaluation with which they will decide if Deven needs some sort of speech therapy. The lady I saw today told me he will more than likely qualify for said therapy.

You know, I wish I still felt like I could say “Deven will catch up when he catches up.” Everyone I know has been saying to me “One of these Deven will just start talking and won’t stop” and I have believed that. I’ve taken on the role of more complacent parent to Vance’s constantly worried parent. But now I am forced to really examine the problems that he’s having. It’s not just that he doesn’t talk, it’s that he is no where near talking. I don’t know if it’s a hearing problem or if it’s as though verbal language just doesn’t click with him. Whatever it is, now I have to really consider that there could be something wrong with my son.

Of course the example that immediately comes to mind is my brother who has Asperger’s Syndrome. I know that a speech delay alone is not necessarily indicative of Autism or even any other Pervasive Developmental Disorder. Deven has no trouble relating to others and is not even the least bit shy, so yes, I know that is not his problem. He just doesn’t talk. I just know how hard life has been for my brother, how hard it has been for him to establish stable independence and to be fully accepted by the world. Of course the last thing I want is for life to be any harder for my own son. I worry about that all the time.

I worry about whether there was something more I could have done somewhere. What if there was something I did wrong when I was pregnant or when he was an infant? What if it’s linked to him hitting his head all the time and me just most of the time laughing instead of taking him to the hospital? What if I just didn’t talk to him enough? If there is something wrong with Deven, how will this affect our decision to have more children? I mean, if I carry some sort of Genetic predispostion to having a disabled child, what right do I have to put more children through this?

I’m really getting ahead of myself and very overdramatic. This is something that Deven could end up getting over by the time he is three with proper therapy. After that we may never hear from this again, it will be just a memory. I know that no matter what is asked of me, if it will help Deven to catch up and thrive, I will do it. I want to do what I can to make this nothing more than a couple of sentences in his baby book.

We have appointments with an ENT and Audiologist set for May 5th, the day after his evaluation. I don’t know whether to hope for a fluid buildup or not. Seriously.