I have two exciting announcements to make:
1. My dad sold the Buick for us. That means at least $1000 coming our way. At least.
2. We found a day care for Deven.
I never really elaborated much on the second point. A couple of weeks ago I found out that in order to keep my financial aid I need to register for at least 6 credit hours. That sounds fine, like about half time right? Sounds manageable. Except that I have everything set up to take just 2 classes, which was going to be one credit class and my remedial math class, and then maybe one other credit class through distance learning. But that was only if I thought I could handle it without getting overwhelmed. But that plan was thrown out, and I found out the only way I can swing 6 credit hours is if I went to school during the day.
Of course we can’t exactly afford a full time regular day care, so I had to look around for churches and in-home daycares. I want to smack every person who has ever recommended a church daycare because they are either free or way cheaper. That may very well have been the case 20 years ago when you needed to put your kid in daycare, but since then churches have caught on and now they are just as expensive and in-demand as regular daycares. All of them had waiting lists and they were all asking at least $500 a month. So I had to look into in-home daycares. I finally found a really nice lady who runs her daycare out of her home and comes highly recommended. She won’t have any openings for a while, but her assistant has plenty of openings. So that’s where Deven will go. She runs around $110 a week for part time, which is more than we can really afford, but with financial aid and help from family, we’re going to try to swing it.
On the Deven front, yesterday we were visited by a nice lady from the Texas ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) program. No, Deven does not have a substance abuse or gambling problem. What he does have is delayed speech. As you know, as I have mention several times in the past 7 months, Deven does not talk. At all. He also doesn’t point, so his Doctor referred us to these people to have him evaluated to see if he needs further therapy or assistance. Someone came over to talk to me about his diet, perform basic sight and hearing screenings, and do a little observation of his interaction with me and other objects. She said he had good eye contact and social reference, but he may need to have his hearing checked based on his lack of speech and the number of times he was sick last year. She also noted that when he babbles, he should be mimicking the inflections of a sentence. Instead it just comes out drawn out and monotonous, with maybe a scream thrown in there. Nothing that resembles a statement. We set up a second appointment for May 4th for an actual evaluation with which they will decide if Deven needs some sort of speech therapy. The lady I saw today told me he will more than likely qualify for said therapy.
You know, I wish I still felt like I could say “Deven will catch up when he catches up.” Everyone I know has been saying to me “One of these Deven will just start talking and won’t stop” and I have believed that. I’ve taken on the role of more complacent parent to Vance’s constantly worried parent. But now I am forced to really examine the problems that he’s having. It’s not just that he doesn’t talk, it’s that he is no where near talking. I don’t know if it’s a hearing problem or if it’s as though verbal language just doesn’t click with him. Whatever it is, now I have to really consider that there could be something wrong with my son.
Of course the example that immediately comes to mind is my brother who has Asperger’s Syndrome. I know that a speech delay alone is not necessarily indicative of Autism or even any other Pervasive Developmental Disorder. Deven has no trouble relating to others and is not even the least bit shy, so yes, I know that is not his problem. He just doesn’t talk. I just know how hard life has been for my brother, how hard it has been for him to establish stable independence and to be fully accepted by the world. Of course the last thing I want is for life to be any harder for my own son. I worry about that all the time.
I worry about whether there was something more I could have done somewhere. What if there was something I did wrong when I was pregnant or when he was an infant? What if it’s linked to him hitting his head all the time and me just most of the time laughing instead of taking him to the hospital? What if I just didn’t talk to him enough? If there is something wrong with Deven, how will this affect our decision to have more children? I mean, if I carry some sort of Genetic predispostion to having a disabled child, what right do I have to put more children through this?
I’m really getting ahead of myself and very overdramatic. This is something that Deven could end up getting over by the time he is three with proper therapy. After that we may never hear from this again, it will be just a memory. I know that no matter what is asked of me, if it will help Deven to catch up and thrive, I will do it. I want to do what I can to make this nothing more than a couple of sentences in his baby book.
We have appointments with an ENT and Audiologist set for May 5th, the day after his evaluation. I don’t know whether to hope for a fluid buildup or not. Seriously.