Author Archives: admin

potty, nurse, whatnot

by | Leave a comment

I wish I had some kind of 24-hr, on-call nurse/midwife in my entourage to aid me in my pregnancy. Even better, she could temporarily live with us until after the baby is born and we feel comfortable enough to go it alone. I would call her at any hour to answer my stupid questions, like “My hips are aching all the time now, and I’ve been feeling the baby move down low more. Do you think he’s dropped?” Or, “The Doctor says I am measuring small, what do you think? Is he going to be big? Is he small? Does that mean I’ll go into labor sooner or later?” Anytime I felt like I wanted to be checked out between Doctor’s visits, I would call her to come over and give me thorough exam, and then have her paint my toe nails and do my dishes for me. And pick Deven up from school. I wonder if I could find some downtrodden Guatemalan immigrant who acted as her village’s Midwife to come and live with us as a nanny/maid/personal alternative health care provider. If I were rich and still dumb enough to keep getting pregnant, I would totally hire her.

If my mom were still here, I am sure she would act as my personal nurse/mw, and do as much as she could to help out with Deven and my housework. It still stings a bit to hear about other women bonding with their mothers during their pregnancies, while I don’t even get to talk to mine.

I want the baby to get here before I hit forty weeks because I don’t think I could take another 5 1/2 weeks of this. Another 3, maybe, but not another 5. At the same time, we are about to begin our potty training adventure, and having the baby hold out for as long as possible might be best until we build up Deven’s potty confidence. Today I decided to give Deven a head start, because tomorrow he is going to be thrown into it head first, whether he likes it or not, with a whole other set of adults. He was fine for the first half of the day with his underpants, and would sit on the potty for stickers. He had one accident while he sat in time out, and we cleaned it up and gave him a new pair of undies. Then after nap, he discovered he needed to take a shit, and I had already taken his pull-up away from him. He wouldn’t sit on the potty for the most lavish bribe in the world, nor would he wear his underpants. He threw massive banshee screaming fits because I wouldn’t give him a pull-up. Finally, Vance came home from his camping trip and I told him that he could do whatever he wanted while I was at work, because nothing is changing tomorrow, and he is still starting potty training. So you can kind of guess what a tired, achy, smelly Vance decided to do.

Today was such a fail. These next two weeks are going to pwn us. So maybe the baby should stay in there for another 5 weeks…

 

 

Weekends

by | Leave a comment

Deven and I are sitting in bed, watching Megamind again, and eating peanut butter crackers. I like that Deven is getting the idea when it comes to weekends, that most of the routine that dominates the week is thrown out, and it’s these sort of deviations from the norm that make them special. He gets to sleep with mommy and daddy, watch movies and make a mess of crumbs in the bed. Of course, I would love to watch something different, but as I understand it, kids get a real kick out of predictability and repetition. I remember being this age and watching Cinderella over, and over, and OVER again, much to the chagrin of everyone else in the house. I don’t care that I am watching the same movie 2 nights in a row. I enjoy seeing him calm, occupied, and with a full belly. And sleeping right next to me. Sleeping Deven is the most precious thing in the entire world.

 

Day Forty-four?

by | Leave a comment

Last night was horrible. Shortly after I wrote that post about our awesome dinner and Monopoly adventure, I started feeling sick. I don’t know if it was the Mexican food, or a bug, or just my intestines attacking me again. I was up all night with, uh, digestive issues, hot/cold flashes, and I couldn’t stop shaking. When I say I was up all night, I mean, I had slept maybe an hour total before my alarm went off. I told Vance he was going to have to get Deven to school. He was awesome about it, even though I am sure I kept him up most of the night with my (unsuccessful) heavy relaxation breathing, nonstop shaking, and running back and forth to the bathroom. Oh, and there were my sobs, which I tried to keep as quiet as possible.

I had to cancel my therapy appointment, and my therapist didn’t charge me a fee for canceling literally an hour before the appointment. I called into work, because I was still feeling like hot, smelly ass, and since I still had to take care of Deven, I wasn’t sure I would be able to catch up on any sleep. I was going to be useless to them if I came in.

The one appointment I did decide to keep was with my OB, because when you’re sick, the one place you want to go is to the Doctor, right? She didn’t offer me any special advice or anything, other than to spend the day resting and re-hydrating myself. The baby’s heart rate was higher than usual, which is what made her think I must have still been somewhat dehydrated. In my mind, I had been drinking plenty of water and 7up, even though it was still hard. I had also been attempting to eat bland things like chicken noodle soup and saltines, but consuming anything was still really uncomfortable.

She also measured my uterus and determined I was measuring small, and I was flabbergasted. I don’t feel or look small, and if it’s not the baby, than what the hell?   She wants me to have an ultrasound to check the little guy’s size and whatnot, and I was all, “SUUUUUURE! Can’t argue with that!” So on Tuesday the 15th we’ll get new pictures of our little monkey. Exciting!!!

I’m laying in bed with Deven watching Megamind again. He was almost asleep when Vance came up to get his pillows and morning stuff so he doesn’t wake us up when he gets up 5:45 am. He’s going on a climbing/camping excursion with a couple of friends. This is his one allotted camping trip for this half of the year. He usually goes on 2-3 a year, and this year there was one scheduled for the end of April, and I told him he is out of his goddamned MIND if he thinks he is going to leave his family with a new baby, even if it’s just for the weekend. I’m not going to get to do anything without a baby attached to me for a good few months, what makes him think he’s going to get to have that kind of wife/child-free fun?

Anyway, I told him to be careful and make sure his Leatherman is good and sharpened, you know, in case he needs to saw something off. You never know! He might get stuck! They might run out of food! Let’s hope not.