Author Archives: admin

Over the weekend

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Getting back into the habit of posting! But since it is super late for me to be doing anything, I’m going to try and make this quick, with the fewest words I can possibly get away with using. That one is going to be hard.

So, this weekend was Jam. Packed. with fun.

My Saturdays are generally pretty horrible, actually, my week is horrible, and Saturday is really the climax of it all, when it reaches it’s peak of shitty-ness. I have a 3 hour morning class with an instructor that can’t seem to explain a concept in less than 6,000 words, which is SO FRUSTRATING, and then I come home to the kids and the husband who is usually going insane because of the kids. I try to fill in this space with practical things, like cleaning, or any errands that need running. Then I work in the evenings until about 8, sometimes 9.

So this weekend, Deven was invited to a classmate’s birthday party. Normally I would say no, because my Saturdays suck so hard, why would I want to add more to that? But then I thought about how Deven hasn’t really been to very many birthday parties, aside from Jackie’s kiddos parties, or family parties. Also, Vance and I really aren’t the most social people in the world. Neither of us have very many friends, and the ones we do have we rarely hang out with. Deven, unlike his mom or dad, is a super friendly, happy kid whom all of his classmates seem to love, so why not encourage him to be sociable? So, this is what I decided to fill the middle of Saturday with. A kid’s birthday party. Because I am going through this masochistic phase.

Birthday party!

Oh. Man, was it a party. They were clearly wealthy, as they lived in a gorgeous house, and hired a band-type-not-a-clown-but-children’s-entertainment-type-group to play songs and games for the kids. They did all kinds of fun things, like a treasure hunt, and balloons, and bubbles…

And they played a game involving throwing little plastic bugs around the room. Deven didn’t appreciate that very much. He freaked out and begged me to take him home, but he got over it once they moved onto a game involving scarves, or something.

Party hat

We stayed for the majority of it. They had snacks, decorated party hats, and then did favor bags, and a pinata, before it was time for us to go so I could scurry my butt into work.

And then Sunday.

Sunday is normally my relaxing day, but my dad and step-mom were coming to visit for Deven’s early birthday. They won’t be here for our little celebration on the 17th, so they wanted to come down this weekend instead. This meant that since my week was so full of things like kids and homework, and work-work, I didn’t have time to clean. We had to do all of the cleaning in the short time span that morning.

But they came with brisket and potato salad, so it was okay.

Presents!
Oh, and presents for Deven.
Presents!

He mostly got clothes, which I was so very grateful for, but it didn’t bother him in the least bit. He loves clothes.  I believe this boy will be a total fashionista when he becomes a teenager. Which is not for a while, thank god. We have time to save up for that.
Grandpa and Archer

My dad and Archer.

They also brought cupcakes and ice cream for the birthday boy. It was fun. We so rarely get to spend time together, and when we do, it’s usually not so relaxed. Even Vance commented that this time, it didn’t seem quite as forced as it usually does. There is a lot there that I won’t put out on the internet for the world to see at this time. It has made fun times hard to come by in the past.

But.

I think a big part of it was that this visit was all about a certain little boy, who is about to turn 4, who has been a bright little light in the lives of all who have been fortunate enough to get to know him.

Party boy

Seriously, he’s incredible, and it’s all going by way too fast.

(I am so not an anything of few words.)

 

The good, the bad, the ugly, and the plain old annoying.

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Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy. How have you been? Things have been…well, they have been going. I haven’t written in for-ev-er,and if I remember correctly, I didn’t exactly leave on a high note. Things have been chaotic, there aren’t enough hours in the day, or the week,  and blah, blah, blah, blah. I mean, yeah, all of that is true, don’t get me wrong, but that is only part of the reason why I haven’t blogged.

Most people who blog about their lives and their daily routines are usually pretty selective about what they share, and that’s fine. No one in their right mind is going to blame you if you choose not to share the sordid details about that fight you had with your husband where you called him a lazy, useless piece of shit and he almost left you because of it. Or how you went off on that sandwich artist at Subway because she almost put the wrong cheese on your sandwich, and you might have thrown the n-word or the r-word in your rant somewheres. Someone might have slashed your tires as a result of said rant.  I’m not saying these are the types of things those bloggers with the seemingly perfect lives are choosing to keep to themselves, I’m just throwing out scenarios here. I’m really saying that things are not roses and rainbows all the time, and I know for me, it’s been effecting my ability to share anything at all.

I’ve even had a hard time picking out the better times.

It’s been almost 5 months since I had Archer, and as hard as it has been for me to admit it, I haven’t been so lucky when it comes to avoiding the same issues I had after Deven was born. I was feeling pretty okay the first couple of months after he was born, but since then the oxytocin has worn off, and the stress has piled on. I had work, one increasingly difficult toddler, one fussy baby, a house that I can never seem to get clean enough, and as of recently, school. And it’s been almost 5 months since I have had a full night’s sleep. As a result, I’ve been irritable, short-tempered, overwhelmed, frustrated, and, as it applies to this blog, completely unwilling to talk about it. With anyone.  I’ve even had a hard time acknowledging it.

I internalize everything. I always have. I can’t share with the people in my life, even Vance, most of the time. I’m not entirely sure why this is, I just…can’t. It’s not shame, or fear of judgment…maybe it’s a fear of intimacy? I don’t know. I’m just not programmed to call up a close friend and talk about how overwhelming my life has been lately. Maybe I don’t believe that anyone would really care. I don’t know.

But that’s it. In short, I don’t blog because I don’t really feel like talking about it. And I don’t have time.

Writing is still really therapeutic. We’ve decided that I’m not going back to therapy any time soon, because, again, no time, and because we don’t have the money for it. I would like to be able to vent something on some occasions, even if it is just something about how much I hate Glee and Ugg boots (I really do), seeing as winter is around the corner, and their return is a real concern. They’re like the Crocs of winter footwear.

When I do blog, it probably won’t be just sunshine and princess movies, it will probably be about how frustrated I am with my scatterbrained Biology teacher, or how Deven drove me crazy every single waking moment of the day. Believe me, when I deliver the goods, the shit is real. And I use dirty words, and I admit some things that a lot of people probably don’t want to hear. I do not fuck around. A lot of people don’t like that, so if that’s not your bag, you might want to exercise caution when reading my posts.

I have plenty to talk about, including that vacation to South Padre we went on a month ago. It was glorious, and completely necessary. I look forward to sharing every detail. I promise you, it will be like a birth story, only the pictures will probably be really disappointing. We were too busy actually having fun to take pictures, but what I did take, I will share. And of course, there are the kids, who seem to be growing at an explosive rate. You know how they say kids age you? Totally true. They’re also magic, and make time go way faster than it did at any point in your life.

So here’s to more words, and more openness and truth.

 

 

An unusual first

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I don’t remember that many “firsts.” Obviously, I don’t remember my first steps, or the first time I sat on a tricycle, or the first time I watched tv, or even the first time I got on the internet. All of those things are vital parts of my life now. And there was some commercial (Bisquick, maybe?) several years ago that said that you never forget your first pancake. I don’t remember that either. I also saw a softcore porno once in which a woman said that she may forget her name some day, but she’ll never forget her “first time.” This might actually be true. We’ll see.

I don’t remember the first time I was taken to the movies. I remember when I was 6, I accompanied my mom to see Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves because Kevin Costner gave her special feelings. I don’t remember much of the movie because anytime there was an even remote chance of something gross or inappropriate happening, my mom would shield my eyes with her hand. Years later I have found that I wasn’t missing much. I hope to God that wasn’t my first time at the movies.

I knew that when that time came for Deven, I wanted it to be memorable, and a good experience. When he gets to be a teenager,  he is going to be spending a lot of time at the movies with his friends, hopefully not dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter. I wanted to build a good foundation for him.

The great thing about living here in Austin is the Alamo Drafthouse. They’re known for taking the “dinner and movie” night and combining them in a single stop. They have a great menu offering a variety of delicious choices in entrees and munchables, and, oh yeah, beer and spirits. Come on: AUSTIN. They also offer unique special screenings, and, my favorite thing and the part most relevant to the post: BABY DAY! On Tuesdays, you can bring your kids 6 and under to any movie showing before 2 pm. And they get in for free. So I paid $8 for myself and both of my kids to see a movie. I was also able to feed us lunch during the movie. Seriously, IT DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER.

So, I took him to see Cars 2. I heard the movie was horrible, but it wasn’t about me. I wanted to do something special for Deven. We don’t get to do many special things these days. We sat in the theater with the other moms and their kids, and ordered the chicken strip basket. The lights came down, and the music started playing, and Deven was not sure of what to think about this. He was a little freaked out, and started asking to go home. I kept telling him we were gonna go home “after” the movie, so every time a commercial would end, he would ask if it was time to go home. He eventually got over it, and ate his chicken and watched the movie. Of course, he’s still three (almost four), and it’s still a lot to ask of him to sit still and pay attention. He would mess with his brother, or ask to go home, or fart and then announce it to everyone in the theater. But he still sat in his seat and didn’t make too much noise, which was really all I asked of him. Just give it a chance, and please don’t meltdown. And he did just that. It was great.

We probably won’t do it again for a while, because like I said, he’s still a little young. His attention span is still a little too short to sit through a whole movie. At least we know now that he can handle it. That means that if ever I am just SO DESPERATE for something to do with him on a Tuesday, and it’s too hot to go outside, we can do this. Potentially. And now we have this memory that most people don’t have for themselves.

I can’t believe my first baby is old enough to go to the movies. I still remember his first little baby giggles like it happened yesterday, and now here he is, with his own interests and obsessions. He’s able to remember things now. He’ll come to me in a few days and say “You ate chicken and french fries and tessup at the movies, memba dat?” Is it too much to ask time to stand still, or at least SLOW THE SHIT DOWN?