The Lows

It’s sad that I am inspired to update my blog after many months by something awful.

The truth is I have been busy. Very busy. The kind of busy that completely sucks every iota of inspiration and motivation and creativity right out of one’s being. I’ve been busy working, going to school, raising two kids, worrying about money, thinking about the future, feeling insecure, not sleeping. With all of this, something had to give.

And it did.

I’d working at my job for about 6 months. I told myself I could do it all; I could get good grades, and I could excel at my job. I had been thinking about homeschooling, and Vance and I started talking about buying a plot of land and plopping an ugly temporary “manufactured home” on the property until we could afford to build a nicer home. But the truth is my grades have been just okay, my parenting has been despicable, and I downright sucked at my very demanding life-suck of a job. So it turns out I’m human.

On Wednesday my boss attempted to demote me. I say “attempted” because after I pointed out that I can’t afford to work for less than what I am being paid, her heart grew a couple of sizes and she convinced her boss to transfer me to a lower-volume restaurant. Thats fine. This is actually almost exactly what happened to me before when I worked for the same boss, except she didn’t offer to transfer me, she just said, “demote,” and I said, “fuck you” and left. It’s amazing how short people’s memories tend to be. I totally forgot what it was like to work for this person and she totally forgot how big of a pain in the ass I tend to be.

It’s okay, it really is, because I still have my job, it’s just going to be somewhere else. After this happened  the last time, I went to work at a different store, and got promoted. So maybe I just can’t handle working at the busiest store in the Austin market, and maybe she just can’t handle the threat of someone fucking with her bonuses. That I can totally understand.

It still sucks. I still feel like I failed. I also feel incredible betrayed. I pointed out to her during the “meeting” that she never once talked to me about what was going on, or what could happen if things didn’t change. She claims that she did, but she is full of shit. Not-a-once was there a formal discussion about the depths of my failures. The other managers also knew what was going on and not a one of them warned me either. Knowing the way things work there, they all dug up their own evidence, whispered behind my back, and contributed their own details that would lead to my downfall. That is how it has always happened at that shit hole. But the worst part? How we all pretend to be friends. Last time I checked, friends don’t fuck each other over, they help each other out. The fact that none of them attempted to discuss things with me, that they all started acting differently around me really just speaks to their awful characters. I’m not afraid to burn these bridges, or to say that every single one of them is dead to me now.

Is that dramatic?

I wish I could say it all ended there, but it didn’t. I also decided to drop a class halfway through the semester. That is my fourth withdrawal, which means I only have two left in my entire academic career. Two.

That decision was a bit complicated. My grade in the class was pretty terrible, and I couldn’t sit with it. The problem was that the class was so very work-intensive that I couldn’t do half of the work before the deadlines. I just didn’t have the time. Now we are on the last big assignment, and I just can’t pull everything together to finish it. I’m going to retake the class near the end of my associate’s degree and nail the shit out of it, but for now, there was just no way it could be done. I have way overworked myself, I have stepped over my limit.

The stress is horrible. I’ve been depressed, and anxious, and I’ve been short-tempered with my kids, and I hate it. I wish I knew what to do. I need help in some form or another, in the form of medication, or therapy, or even just a babysitter. If we could find a babysitter twice a week to come in and watch the kids while I focused on other things, or focused on nothing at all by myself, that would be amazing. It would help so much.

But in the mean time, I still have a job and a class to focus on. Life resumes tomorrow. I have a paper and an exam due on Tuesday, and whether or not we move into a house, we still need to get ready to move in two months. Archer’s birthday is in a week and a half. I’m trying to find a different non-management job. I just need to look around and focus on the positive things going on in my life, no matter how difficult they are to find.

I wish life could be simple again. I miss being a housewife who took classes in the evenings. Things were so much easier to understand.

 

 

 

 

 

So long 2012

Just to prove that I haven’t completely abandoned this site, here is a look back at the craziness that was 2012. It was a year full of ups and downs, major changes, small(ish) changes, new hobbies and friends. Here is hoping that 2013 is a little easier on us.

 

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

I rock climbed for the first time ever, and turned it into a passion. Now it’s something I make time for every single week, no exceptions. Well, unless I’m sick, or injured…

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn’t keep any resolutions, as they just get left behind and completely forgotten about before February even rolls around. You shouldn’t really need them to accomplish goals in your life. If you want to change something, don’t wait for a date on the calendar, do it now.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Well, I wouldn’t say close to me, (I wish that were different) but Vance’s cousin Allison gave birth to the cutest and sweetest little baby girl in October. They live in California and we finally got some snuggles in over Christmas. Totally contracted the baby fever. SO NOT A GOOD TIME.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

I lost one of my great-aunt’s this year. She seemed to fall ill so fast. I wasn’t really close to her, but I remember her very fondly from when I was growing up.  Another example of why we shouldn’t take those around us for granted.

5. What countries did you visit?

Oh yeah, us leaving the country. That’s a good one.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you didn’t have in 2012?

It’s not so much for me, but for Vance…wait, it’s for all of us. I would like for my husband to have a job. One that pays really well, so I can quit working, or so that we can afford to put our two little ones in daycare and we can get some money put aside for a house. Thats what I want in 2013. It’s been 4 months, for CRYING OUT LOUD.

7. What dates from 2012 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

WELL. April 14th Archer turned 1.  Aug 2nd Vance lost his job. September 16th marked 5 years since Deven was born and since I became a mom. A MOM TO A FIVE YEAR OLD: THATS ME.  November 30th we took Deven to his first Rush concert and he had a BLAST, and though it’s not an exact date, my friend Karissa moved here in February and it was like no time had passed at all. It was like someone found my missing puzzle piece somewhere in Houston and drove it all the way back here and bought it a really nice house so it wouldn’t want to leave me again.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

I started working while taking 3 classes and I finished the semester with a 3.3o GPA. The entire time I thought I was going to lose my mind, but I didn’t. I don’t ever want to do that again (I’m taking 2 classes this next semester) but I proved that it could be done. 2 kids, a full-time job, and school is A LOT.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I feel like I could have been a better mom. I always feel that way. I’ve been so tired and overwhelmed, I sometimes would lose my patience with them, or not want to do anything fun with them. Something needs to change.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I was diagnosed (finally) with ulcers in May, and have been taking some pretty hard-core medication for it ever since then.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Climbing shoes, a harness, and a chalk bag. Best investment EVER.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Vance is awesome for putting up with me and for taking on the role of Stay At Home Dad. Deven is a great big brother and has the most colorful imagination. Archer is completely adorable and is learning to talk. And I can do everything I set my mind to. So we’ve all kicked ass this year.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Don’t even get me started.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Surviving.

15. What did you get really excited about?

Seeing Rush for a SEVENTH time and taking my little budding Rush nerd with us. And climbing! I’m always excited about climbing though.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

This was a year of obnoxious songs that I couldn’t fucking get away from, so: that awful “Too Close” song from the Microsoft commercial, “Call me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen, and my least favorite of them all, “Somebody that I used to know” by MotherFucking Gotye. Makes me wish I was deaf every time I hear it.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

A) An imbalanced fluctuating mess b) about the same, only more muscular c) poorer. Oh god poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Listened to my kids, listened to Vance. Just took more time to listen to the people I care about.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Panicked. It’s not that I didn’t have reason, I could’ve just handled it a bit better.

20. How will/did you spend Christmas?

I spent it exactly where I belong: here with my little family, in our little living room.

21. What was your favorite TV program?

I recently discovered a show on HBO all about Warwick Davis (the guy from Willow) called Life’s Too Short. It’s pretty much my favorite thing ever. I immersed myself in this year’s True Blood, even though it’s questionable whether or not it was worth the attention.

22. What was the best book you read?

I read a lot for me this year, and all of it was pretty remarkable. I would have to say the book (or in this case, books) I enjoyed the most had to be the Hunger Games Trilogy. Every bit as good as everyone keeps saying.

23. What did you want and get?

More time with friends, and a new exciting hobby (climbing, duh.)

24. What did you want and not get?

More money, a job for Vance. Seriously.

25. What was your favorite film of 2012?

It’s a toss-up between The Dark Knight Rises and The Hunger Games.

26. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

On May 20, 2012 I turned 27, and for my birthday my wonderful husband and children cut me loose and let me spend the day relaxing with my bestie poolside at her estate. The entire day. It was amazing.

27. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

The complete unquestionable assurance that everything was going to be just fine. Spoken like a true neurotic.

28. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2012?

My fashion concepts will never change: jeans, comfortable, snug-fitting tshirts, and converse. I will never ever outgrow it.

29. What kept you sane?

Excellent music. My friends and climbing. Even better: climbing WITH friends AND excellent music in the background.

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

If I don’t give myself a chance at the things I desire most in life, I will be doing myself an incredible disservice. And to roll with the freakin punches, you know, like I have some kind of choice in the matter.

 

 

 

Period

I know what you guys must’ve been thinking based on the somber tone of my last blog post. “Vance lost his job, and they lost their home and sold all of their possessions because they couldn’t fit that much stuff in their van, and that’s why Janette hasn’t updated in over 2 months. We should pray for them or something.”

Luckily, none of that is true. I just haven’t been around very much because, to be quite honest, I have been incredibly busy. And thats not an excuse or an exaggeration, I mean on any given day I am on the internet for maybe 20 minutes, and thats usually just waiting for Outlook to finish receiving mail. None of it is important, by the way.

Here, let me see if I can break it all down for you:

 

  • Vance hasn’t found a job yet, but I have. I’m managing pizza again, which is not what I wanted to do, like, AT ALL, but when push comes to shove, you do what you have to do, and kill two birds in the bush, and bite the horse in the mouth, and all that stuff. This is also why you don’t burn your bridges, because if it hadn’t been for my friends I’ve kept at Papa Johns, I wouldn’t be employed right now. I’m so thankful I have great people with whom I can share this great uninsured suffering. The best part is that between Vance’s unemployment money and my paychecks, we’re doing better financially then we were before. Unemployment runs out eventually, so he still needs to find a decent job soon.
  • Deven turned 5! Which is totally crazy. It’s been 5 years since that little bundle of poop and chub came blazing into this world. You know those commercials for Carter’s where they say something like, “when a child is born, so is a mother”? Thats what I am reminded of. 5 years since everything in my life changed permanently and for the absolute best.  We had a Diego themed party, and we invited all of his little friends, and all of our family and friends that love him as much as we do. The mess was incredible, but I can’t think of a better reason for that mess to be made. He is so very deserving.
  • Rock climbing. I have made it a point to take time out of every week to hit the rock gym, and I can’t get enough of it. There is nothing like the adrenaline rush of making it to the top of a really hard climb you’ve been working on for weeks, or the feeling in your shoulders and back when you’ve decided you’re done for the day. All of the stress and tension I build up during the week gets taken out on the walls. I can’t wait to get a rope and a friend who can lead so I can do some real climbing outside on actual rocks instead of in a smelly gym.
  • School is kicking my ass and consumes most of my time. Three classes and work and kids and Vance? Not easy. Not even kinda, but I am still doing ok. I’m still in the A-B arena and very proud, albeit exhausted and overwhelmed pretty much all of the time. Every week there is a test or something due in some class. It’s not easy or fun, and I am counting down the days until the semester is over. I am hoping against hope that this in some way pays off when it’s over.
  • Archer is still Archer and is almost 19 months. My little tiny baby with the chubby thighs and the cheeks and the binky obsession is almost 2, and thinking about that hurts. I know once he is no longer a baby, I’m just going to have to go baby-less for a while until we get some shit straightened out. The good news is that judging by his dad’s childhood age progression and the way Archer looks now, we have at least another year and a half of deceptive baby cuteness to enjoy.

And so my time is constantly filled. I’m lucky that right now I am able to sit down and update, even though there are other things I should be doing, like studying for Monday’s A&P test, or cleaning something. I would rather be writing any day of the week, and I need to write. I have found that I start getting really depressed, and therefore, depressing to others when I don’t write for a long period of time. Of course, all I do these days is study and work and climb, and it’s really hard to find inspiration in those things. Dammit, I have to try, and I will. I can’t lose touch with this again.

Until next time…